How I Feel About What I Wrote: Good.
The Mood I Brought to the Table: Exhausted after a day of trying to find a spot.
The Experience: I tried really, really hard today.
I definitely didn’t want to have another post from home on the second to last day of 30 Days, but there was just nothing to do for it. I’d made a silent clause with myself after my experience on Day 25, a vow that I would always be ready to go home the instant one spot did not work out.
However, when I got to the City Bakery today and found that, even later in the day, it’s a mad house, I was not willing to come straight back. I really–really–wanted to get to work outside if only because I didn’t want to have another brainstorming session about an endgame I could not possibly brainstorm anymore (I’ve had Taking a Stand stuck in my head for the past two days and, although its amazing, it’s starting to drive me insane).
In all seriousness, there’s a point when planning doesn’t help because you need the random elements of freshly written progress to provide fuel for the brainstorming; in my case, I needed a very particular answer that I just couldn’t work out until I found it in the flow of a new scene as I was typing it. I desperately wanted to get to that new scene.
So I wandered Manhattan for a good two hours looking for a spot.
I considered Bourbon Coffee, but found it also totally full.
I passed on Crocodile Lounge again because beer is always, unfortunately, the last thing I need when I sit down to write.
I passed on Think Coffee, which I’d considered until I read a sign out front that said, “I Think therefore I drink great coffee.” Maybe you find that charming–and that’s fine. But I hated it enough to nonsensically glare at Think Coffee as I walked past it. Do I just hate being scripted? “You’re not stupid, right? So you like this coffee then–it’s decided!” I don’t know.
I eyed a handful of other eateries from fast food places (passed on because I’m never hungry for fast food and just… refuse to write at a McDonald’s for 30 Days [cause… fucking… no]) to a suspiciously empty cafe (I mean, not a soul was sitting in a cafe near 14th St. [a sight that’s insanely damning]).
The second to final straw was finding a decent cafe that only accepted cash and… Paypal?
The final straw was winding back around to Bourbon and finding that it was absolutely still full.
At this point, that silent clause I mentioned–the Bullshit Clause–was in full effect; I’d wasted so much time that the sun was going down. Writing outside wasn’t an option and I had a lot to try and get out. So I rushed back home.
And finally got some of my ideas down and figured out a handful of important answers. I encountered a new problem instantly and corrected that, but then hit an exhaustion wall really hard and way too fast. It felt like I only wrote 200 words, but somehow, I still went over my old goal (still stopping too early at this point).
But, as I said yesterday, I’d rather take my time than force this at all. I’m a bit worried I’ve spent too much time with the endgame and will have to heavily edit it when I’m done, but that’s a problem I’m willing to deal with when I reach it.
For now, I’m gearing up for tomorrow’s session–a combination of two scenes that are pretty intense and happening simultaneously. They end in a transition to one last scene that shuts out the conclusion–to say things in the vaguest way possible. I’m excited for it and a bit worried, but it should be fine.
Still, to whoever’s out there reading this, please wish me luck; I know I still got a good amount done today, but if tomorrow went smoothly, that would be amazing.