Words for the Day: 0
. . . I feel like if I explain first, it’s just going to sound like an excuse.
So, hey . . . I didn’t write today.
There was work.
There was forgetting to refill my metrocard and needing to walk home after work.
There was a bit of writing time, taken before work, at the library, as planned. However, that started off well with the intended research… and turned into getting a sudden email from someone I didn’t want to hear from. Responding took the rest of my writing time, required that I hurry to work, thus forgetting to refill the card. Thus taking an hour longer than usual to get home. Thus getting home, having time, but being exhausted and bitter.
I’m pretty good at writing in a lot of annoying situations these days. I can write on the train, for example. I can write sitting out in public. I can write with other people in the room, not worrying about the awkwardness of my silence.
But, I have a really hard time struggling with depression in the first place. So, when something goes genuinely bad–when I hear from the wrong person or get the wrong news–that is a day I can’t write on.
But, whatever. I say “can’t,” I mean “don’t.” Of course I can. I just have to try to. Add “not writing when in a bad place” to the list of tendencies I need to overcome.
At the very least, I did find the outline I mentioned last time, and it was beautiful. It was part of an “Idea File” for H&T. Can’t be sure how many other writers have these, but it was basically a type of document where I record every idea I have for a story, from its theme down to character habits. My idea file for H&T was super thorough, detailing plot nuances I liked but forgot about. So, I’m excited to take that information and use it tomorrow.
But not today. Today’s just a bust.
Words for the Day: 0
NaNoWriMo Total: 1837
2 thoughts on “30 Days of NaNoWriMo 2 – Day 7: Not Going Well”
Commiserations on yesterday’s experience. Coping with the ‘Black Dog’ of depression can eclipse any minor hurdle of writer’s block. You needed to not write yesterday. As for today, it may find you in a better frame of mind or it might not. Here’s my boost: you’ve got a pretty tight outline. Which for a fantasy novel is no mean feat. Use it as a springboard to start writing. Here’s what I’ve found; if the inspiration seems weak. Choose a scene from your outline that you really can’t wait to write – doesn’t matter whether it’s beginning middle or end. Just use it as a necessary prop to kickstart your writing engine. In the meantime, here’s an article that might encourage you – https://medium.com/@victorpineiro/how-i-tricked-myself-into-writing-my-first-novel-ca3abd10fa7d#.iuc7tn6hh
As always, thanks for the support, man. I’ve actually never tried jumping to a different part of the outline to write a scene, but the thought of trying it… made me actually think of a scene that’s coming up really, really soon. So, it was an immediate incentive to stick it through; I thought, “Oh man… Yeah, I do want to get to that scene, really badly.” So, really, again, thank you. It’s awesome to have a short term goal to aspire to–just getting there.