Dialing it Back

Earlier today, after an orientation at work . . .

Coworker: “Louis, you coming to Chipotle?”

Me: “I . . .” o_o

Coworker: “Yes, you are. Okay.”

Me: He thinks about the post he needs to write tonight. And he realizes he desperately doesn’t want to tell his coworkers–again–that no, he can’t hang out because he has to write a thing. And that’s when he realizes that the post he has to write tonight . . . is about how he has to write fewer posts so he can have a life. The irony sits heavily in his gut, like a Chipotle burrito. “Yes,” he finally decides. “Yes, I’ll go to Chipotle.”

~~~

So, I’m a little sad to write this one.

I have absolutely loved writing posts every single day for the last month and a half. The original plan was to write every day until October, at which point I’d wrap up a “season” and take a break until next February. I’ve actually been thinking about writing every day for an entire year since NaNoWriMo 2014, and finally just starting to do it felt amazing.

But then . . . I got a promotion at work. Something I totally wasn’t counting on. Professionally, my plan for this year was to get a new job at a museum, hoping for a little bump in pay and steadier hours.

What I got was a significant bump in pay and a ton of extra hours. Which is awesome.

Until it came to this blog.

If I’m completely honest, I was already struggling to post on a normal schedule. Posting late at night meant sitting on my bed and dozing off while writing each post, which I’ve been doing . . . for weeks. And, to be clear, that’s weeks of actually falling asleep mid-sentence, then jumping awake, angrily trying to finish a thought from who-knows-how-many-minutes-ago. Eventually, I got frustrated enough to shout, “Goddammit! Just let me do this!” to an empty bedroom.

At the very end, I started taking naps the moment I got home from work, hoping that would refresh me (and stave off the dips in quality that I know rode in on the exhaustion). It barely worked.

And, regardless . . . the price was always to sacrifice time with The Hand and the Tempest.

For a while, that was okay, because I could still write in my notebook at work.

But, somewhere around a week or two ago, that stopped being possible. And I was so busy–with training, preparing for a presentation, stepping up to the new title–that I didn’t notice.

That is, until last Friday, when, for reasons that I don’t remember, I listened to the theme for Stranger Things.

Stranger Things . . . A show that I loved more than I can say.

Its theme is what I call “righteous,” which, for me, means “a song, image, or any design that I want to write for.“ I want to write a story that fits the theme for Stranger Things for reasons I don’t really understand; maybe it’s just a reflex of young Louis, copying things he loves.

But, at any rate, hearing that song made me remember how I had to avoid making H&T like Stranger Things.

Which in turn made me realize that I hadn’t written in over a week. That, even before that, I’d just broken down to writing loose notes that I’d never gotten around to typing up.

All of this is to say . . . I have to cut back on the daily posts, even though I really, really don’t want to. The site has grown so much since I started and I don’t want it to slow down.

But it has to. Because I have to finish H&T soon, and I need to get a new short published; the “Aixa” banner is killing me at this point.

So, I’m going to dial the posts back to one a week. Still better than once a month, but much more forgiving than my daily jam.

However, there’s also an addendum on the life goals now:

1. Get more short stories published.
2. Get my novels published.
3. Become a successful writer.
4. Get back to a point where I can post here every day. Because I love it.

~~~

I want to take a quick moment to thank everyone who’s followed recently. There’s been a huge rush of new followers here on the site and it has made me feel . . . invincible.

Together with all of the likes and comments, I’m pretty sure the support from you guys is the reason I got that promotion in the first place. I’m not kidding; I went into that interview feeling like I deserved it because I knew that there were people out there who liked my work. People who kept coming back, reading, and commenting. You guys . . . changed me. Seriously, I sat with a group of people and made them all laugh tonight.

This from a man who was afraid to enter cafes by himself in 2013. That sounds like an exaggeration–it isn’t; low on cash and unwilling to meet anyone, I once went down to The Common Grounds and just stood outside for a moment . . . before walking away, afraid. It’s strange to think that’s true, but it’s liberating to know that part of my life is really, finally, over. So, seriously, thank you. I still feel like I can do anything, and I cannot thank you guys enough for helping me get here.

For anyone new to the site, my name is Louis Santiago, and I’m a fantasy writer based in the Bronx. My short story, “Aixa the Hexcaster,” was published last year in Mirror Dance Fantasy. However, I’m still very much learning about the writing process–still trying to figure it out, which means posting here every week, even though I make absolutely no money from it. So, if you like what you read here and feel up to getting updates by email–a new post from me delivered right to your inbox–then please hit the Follow button at the bottom of this page. Because, even though all I get from this site is emotional support, that support means the world to me.

Regardless though, thank you just for dropping by. And, as always, write well.