I had a lot of things I could’ve written about today.
But I had a dream where I was Willy Wonka embroiled in a Game of Thrones-esque plot to take the Chocolate Factory away from me, and I just had to share that.
I don’t remember everything that happened in the dream, but I do know a few things:
- I was Gene Wilder Wonka, not Depp Wonka.
- The plot to take over the factory was coming from inside House Wonka. I wish I could tell you who it was, but I only have the vague vibe that it was Willy Wonka’s brother. So . . . Walter Wonka?
- There were other Houses involved, but no matter how hard I tried to remember what those Houses were, I lost them. I want to believe it was like, “House Keebler” or something, but, in typical “What the fuck?” dream fashion, I think the other major House involved was House Mormont. Like, just inexplicably, a mile down the road from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, there’s House Mormont, as grim and dirty as it was on the show.
- I kept giving arch-as-fuck monologues, Cersei-style, while eating Gobstoppers. This is 100% real; it happened three times over the course of the dream, and every time, I stopped near the end of the monologue to spit out the Gobstopper like, “Why do I keep doing this?”
- I pushed someone out of a window. Episode 1 Jaime defenestration. It was the very end of the dream, and although I do not remember what they looked like, I know it was the person trying to steal the factory–so Walter, I guess. I know for a fact that after I pushed them out of the window, I said, “Well . . . That was easier than I thought it’d be,” but I immediately choose to retcon it so I instead shouted, “You get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!” out the window. Not just because of course, but because if I ever need to push someone out of a window in real life, I’d want to shout that after them.
Now, you might be asking yourself, “Louis, did you want to share some kind of affirming realization that hit you during this dream? Maybe a thought on how fun it can be to mash up different IP’s?”
No. I just needed to share that dream, because I woke up from it like, “Wait–what? Really!?” Hands down the best, weirdest dream I’ve had in years.
What I will say, in conclusion: I am not the man to write it . . . but if anyone else out there decides to write a high intrigue, political drama set in Willy Wonka’s goddamn Chocolate Factory, I’m here for it.
I would like to thank my roommate for sending her kids to the grandparent’s for three straight days. You alone made it possible for me to actually sleep and have this insane dream.
That said, I’m gonna hit post on this one and wind down (today was one of those 95% pratfall days where things just keep going wrong and I’m over it). If you enjoyed, you can always give me a follow.
Regardless, take care and get more sleep if you can. Weird dreams are the goddamn best.